Thursday, 1 August 2013

Untitled - Original



“What does it feel like?”

A deep breath, you close your eyes

you’re falling.

It feels like sinking, going deeper and deeper down,

Your hand reaches out, trying to grab something, anything

but there’s nothing.

unable to return.

Your eyes open, there’s nothing new.

All you see is black.

All you feel is the fall.

It’s lonely.

You open your mouth, nothing comes out. Tears escape your eyes and you keep falling.

It’s scary, but I’ve gotten used to it.

It has always been like this, after all.

“Always?”

Always.

Your hand reaches out again, more tears fall out, your voice is weak

“Please…”

“Do you want this to change?”


“I’m scared”

No.

Change is scary.

“And this is not?”

No.

You shake, let out a sob

“I’m a liar”


I’m already used to it.
____________________________________________________________
I did a thing (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*: ・゚✧
This was supposed to be about depression but I don't think i quite caught the feeling.

Friday, 22 March 2013

Y negro, y negro, y negro... - Original


Cuando abrió los ojos, notó algo extraño en su presencia. Se sentía ligero, libre y tenía un leve dolor recorriéndole el cuerpo. El lugar en el que se encontraba no le resultaba familiar y no tenía idea de cómo había logrado llegar. Estaba en un camino que parecía nunca acabar, alrededor suyo no había rastro de civilización, solo negro y negro y negro…Todo era silencioso, el único ruido que resonaba era su respiración. El aire se sentía algo pesado y se le hacía difícil inhalar. Dándose cuenta que quedarse parado no era un buen plan, decidió caminar, seguir el sendero. Sus pasos perturbaban la calma y empezó a sentir un millón de voces gritando en su cabeza. El silencio desapareció, solo quedaron gritos, sus pasos y una respiración acelerada.

Corrió hasta llegar a un punto en el cual el negro se tornaba gris y la senda se tornaba sinuosa. Perdido, se quedó quieto y decidió sentarse. Las voces no paraban, y poco a poco sentía que iba a enloquecer. Trató de ver, entender algo a su alrededor, pero todo era gris, gris y gris… La realidad parecía lentamente distorsionarse y los gritos le estaban empezando a dar un dolor de cabeza. Parpadeó una, dos, tres veces y, finalmente, cayó dormido.

Cuando despertó, se hallaba en un área blanca y la paz reinaba una vez más. Frente suyo notó una presencia más. Trató de fijar su vista en ella, pero esta ya había desaparecido. Volteó, ahora sintiéndola detrás suyo. Lo que vio le causó sorpresa y emoción. Otro ser humano se encontraba con él, sonrió y trató de levantarse, pero se sentía pesado y no lo logró. La otra persona, una joven mujer le devolvió la sonrisa y movió la cabeza en un gesto de “no”. Luego, se sentó frente a él y lo saludó con alegría. él respondió el saludo, sintiéndose feliz de tener a alguien cerca.

Hablaron por unos minutos antes de que él se diera cuenta que aún no tenía idea sobre el lugar donde se encontraban. Le preguntó a su compañera, ella le respondió que estaban “en el camino entre arriba y abajo”.
-¿Arriba y abajo?- preguntó confundido. Ella sonrió y respondió.
-Estamos siendo juzgados: si pasas, vas arriba, sino, vas abajo.- Con estas palabras, logró comprender su situación. De pronto se sentía mal, enfermo… ¿En qué momento había muerto? Lo último que recordaba era estar en camino a su casa…Agitó la cabeza para tratar de no llorar. Trató de pensar en una razón, una explicación lógica…no había forma, no podía simplemente aceptar una cosa así. La joven le sonrió y agarro la mano.
-¿Cómo? ¿Por qué razón? ¿Cómo puedes reír así en esta situación…?-
-Pues…la verdad ya lo sentía venir desde hace mucho tiempo. En verdad esto es mejor que la vida que tenía – dijo riendo – Vivir atrapada en in hospital no es nada bonito-
-Pero…-calmó sus llantos mientras se sobaba los ojos con las manos – Igual… ¿Cómo puedes aceptar algo así? – Ella se peinó los cabellos con las manos y, una vez más, sonrió.
-¡Simplemente lo acepto!- con eso terminó la conversación. Él llorando una vez más y ella sonriendo.

Tras largos minutos de silencio y completa quietud (Con excepción de los llantos del joven) la mujer se puso de pie y soltó la mano de su compañero. Miró hacia arriba, su visión algo borrosa por las lágrimas. Ella movió su mano en gesto de despedida, él respondió el gesto y ella se retiró caminando. Así, se quedó solo una vez más. Parpadeó una, dos, tres veces y ahora estaba de vuelta en un mar gris con un camino sinuoso que seguir.

Poco a poco las voces volvieron y cada vez se sentía más asustado. Aprender la verdad había hecho que se altere, se sentía perdido, no sabía que hacer o que pensar…Corrió por el sendero, cayéndose y volviéndose a levantar una y otra vez. Cansado y sin aliento llegó al final, un abismo de negro y gris, infinito, intimidante. Asustado, trató de volver, regresar por donde vino…pero el camino ya no estaba, en su lugar había un vacío de negro. Desesperado y con miedo cayó rendido al suelo. Gritó, las voces se callaron y quedó solo en un silencio vacío y negro, gris y negro, y negro…

Luego de un largo rato de soledad en el vacío procesó que, sin importar lo que hiciera, seguiría muerto. Con esto en mente decidió que saltar al vacío no podía causarle algo mucho peor a la situación por la que tenía que pasar. Inhaló profundamente, dios dos pasos y cayó. El abismo era interminable, infinito y negro, negro y negro… Cerró los ojos y esperó una parada, el final de su caída.

Abrió los ojos cuando sintió que había llegado a una parada. Todo a su alrededor era negro, seguía dentro del abismo, pero de alguna manera estaba flotando. En este punto no había ni un rayo de luz, ni gris, ni blanco. Solo negro hacia donde mirara. Se sentía diferente, pesado. Parpadeó y, al abrir los ojos, se encontraba en un lugar nuevo. Ahí todo era de colores grises, pero ya no había negro. Confundido, observó sus alrededores, tratando de ubicarse, pero no reconocía nada. Estaba en un lugar nuevo, quizá en la segunda parte de la prueba. A sus pies vio un camino rojo, se asustó, pero decidió seguirlo, pues no tenía nada mejor que hacer.

El sendero iba recto, sin ninguna curva, así que no se le hizo difícil seguirlo. En este nuevo lugar, las voces ya no se oían, pero había un constante sonido de tambores resonando en su cabeza. Sintió un escalofrío recorrer su espalda mientras caminaba. Se sentía aterrado, mientras más caminaba, más sentía los tambores. Tragó saliva cuando llegó al final del camino. Esta vez no había abismo o curva o vacío que mirar, solo había tierra desolada, una cálida luz roja y un miedo absorbente dominando sus pensamientos.

Parpadeó una, dos, tres veces y se encontró en un vacío de azul. Se sentía tan pesado que ya ni lograba pararse, no podía moverse. Quedó inmóvil, tirado en el vacío. No había nada a su alrededor, solo azul infinito y un aire con un olor parecido al del mar. Sin poder hacer nada, cerró los ojos y se hundió en la nada infinita de su propia mente.
----------------
Okay soy un asco en español
Creo que soy mejor en ingles orz

Friday, 22 February 2013

Pendant - Original

Last year, while searching around my lost dad's things, I found a small pendant. It was really pretty, and I felt there was something special about it. I took it and kept it in secret for a few days before showing it to my mom. When she saw it she went into one of her jealously attacks, claiming that the pendant belonged to one of my dad's supposed lovers, then saying that he had gone to live with one of them. I quickly left the room when she started shouting incoherent words and crying to herself. I sighed, it was better to leave her alone when she started, plus, I didn't really care about what she said.

Disregarding what she said, I kept the pendant. It was pretty and also a nice memento of my dad. I always had it close to me, at school, at home, while bathing...even while sleeping. My mother gave up on convincing me to throw it away after a few days. I also liked keeping it with me because I found it's aura, the energy it gave off, to be pleasant, nice.With it close, I was always in a nice mood, it gave me a nice feeling. I never suspected anything weird was going to happen because of it, maybe I was a little dumb. I just kept it with me, happy from having it close., happy for still remembering my dad so vividly.

One day, after a few weeks, someone knocked on my door. Since my mom had gone out, I had to go open it. When I did, a policeman greeted me on the other side, he told me there had been an accident and that I had to go to the scene quickly. I got scared, this wasn't normal. Shaking, I asked him if he was looking for my mother. "You are...Camille, right?" I nodded, sweating badly and still shaking "Then you are the one I need" I nodded again, still scared, and decided to follow him. He walked slowly, I walked closely behind.

When we got to the place I saw no one I could recognize. I tried to tell the policeman that I wanted to leave, that I didn't know anyone present, but I couldn't talk. I panicked, things were getting way too weird and I wanted to get out, I wanted to go home. Not wanting to get lost, I kept following the policeman quietly, I was scared.

When we finally stopped walking, he told me my friend was up ahead, but that he couldn't keep me company because he had other more important things to do. As soon as he left my field of vision, I decided to get the hell out of that place, but, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't go backwards, I couldn't turn around and leave. I realized I could only move forward, I could only move towards my supposed friend. i started sweating badly, I wanted to run, I wanted to scream.
But I couldn't.

I moved forward, unable to stop, the more I advanced, the less people there were. I was terrified.

I stopped suddenly, I couldn't move anymore. I was frozen.
In front of me stood a small, thin boy. He looked to be about 13, his hair was messy and blond and his eye (the one I could see) was red, just like blood. He was wearing an eye patch, and had bandages around his hands, and apparently his arms too. He was smiling as he looked at me. I stared at him, wanting to run away and forget it all, yet being unable to. I was scared, terrified. I had never seen that kid in my life. I swallowed nervously, his smiled wider and laughed. His voice sounded small, like a lost child's, yet there was something menacing about it, about him.

He then spoke, his tone was cold and it sent shivers running down my spine "Where is the pendant?" the smile didn't leave his face, even as he spoke. I gasped, then glared at him. I was still scared, but I bit down my fear. Something told me he was talking about that pendant, my pendant, my dad's pendant. He stared at me, a questioning look on his face, I kept glaring. There was no way I was giving it to him, it meant the world to me. He closed his eyes, shook his head, then laughed. "I know you want to keep it, but, trust me, it's better if you just hand it over" I glared, then shook my head furiously. He sighed, then extended his hand "Believe me, it's what's best for you" I shook my head again, then glared hard at him
"It's mine." He chuckled.
"Come on Camille, don't be like that...hand it over nicely"
"No!" I yelled, he sighed, then ran a hand through his hair.
"Okay, fine. Have it your way. But..." he laughs "don't say I didn't warn you" With that said, he turned around and left, all the while humming a song my dad used to sing for me.

After he was gone, I ran home to cry.
Weirdly enough, when I passed the place of the supposed accident, there was nothing there.
The news never mentioned it either.

A lot of time has passed since then, it's a wonder I still remember it so vividly.
Today, I'm going to meet up with my best friend to go eat something. He said he had something important to tell me, so I've really been looking forward to this day. I smile stupidly as I get my things ready and prepare to leave. I'm sure today will be really fun. He's such a sweetie, I'm sure we'll go somewhere nice.
I wonder what--

"don't say I didn't warn you"
I have lost it.
Where is the pendant?

The pendant I need the pendant The pendant The pendant I need it Where is the pedant The pendant Where is it I can't lose it Not the pendant I need the pendant Where could it be I need it I---
WHERE AM I?

"So...another one has fallen, huh? Stupid humans, none of them ever listen..."
He cries, his duty has been prolonged.

______________
I love times kips and anachronic order...yeah.
So this is from the same little series as Remember, which I posted before.
Uh...hope you enjoyed and understood...
My first person needs some improvement

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Love - Original



You really have no idea when you started to fall in love with her.
You really don’t.
You just sort of…fell.

Even though it’s painful, it is also a wonderful thing.

It hurts because she doesn’t love you back. It hurts because, even though you would give up the world for her, she wouldn’t do the same for you. It’s painful because you want her to be happy, and you know she would be happier without you.

Yet it’s wonderful because…because it’s love. Because it makes you feel funny around her. It makes you happy to see her, be with her. It makes you feel like you’re flying, higher and higher every time.

It’s wonderful and awful all in one and you love it.

She is the center of your whole world, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s a chilly winter morning and you’re sitting on a park bench, pondering on these thoughts. It is after a while that you notice that she’s close to you, but not quite.
She’s with a date. He is a tall, handsome guy who she takes Spanish classes with. They’re laughing and holding hands while walking through the park. A light blush adorns her cheeks as she laughs, you find it adorable.

You smile softly to yourself, planning on going back to the game you were playing on your cellphone. When you’re about to restart the game, you notice she smiling and waving at you. You wave back and your smile widens (it hurts, it hurts. Even though you’re happy it hurts, it hurts…). She comes closer to you, still holding the guy’s hand. You chat for a while and she presents him to you.

Effectively, it’s her boyfriend. And it hurts.
It’s a hot summer morning when she appears, crying, at your doorstep.  You instantly let her in, you have no time to think.
You’re worried.
You let her sit on your bed when you get to your room, then sit next to her. She’s still crying, mumbling things you can’t understand and rubbing her eyes from time to time. You hold her, shushing her and rubbing circles on her back softly.

It takes a long while, but she finally calms down.

Now, when she’s calm, you ask her what’s wrong. She tears up again, but shakes her head and tells you what happened, her fiancé had left her, and it was one week before they married. You smile sadly and tell her that everything would be alright. She tears up again and buries her head against you.

(Something inside you feels happy, relieved.
Yet you also feel sad and sick
You never wished this on her,
you would never…)
The sun is out, but it’s not really hot.
Today is the last day of winter, and the weather is improving.

Once again, she appears at your door. This time she’s holding a red rose and smiling like never before. She asks you to accompany her. You comply, but tell her you need to change clothes. “It doesn’t matter” she says, then smiles at you “You look fine!” You blush lightly and smile. You look for your keys, grab them, and leave the house.

She takes you to a small park and gives you the rose. You are startled as you take it, blushing a bit too much. After admiring it in your hands, you ask her what it was for. She smiles at you and stays silent. Instead, she takes your hand and kisses your cheek.
Your blush darkens as you hold her hand back.
She chuckles softly at you, you smile at her.

(This is something new, and you’ll make sure it lasts.
You’ll make sure to make her the happiest woman alive.
And you’ll make sure she doesn’t suffer anymore)

She pulls you around town, you both smile and laugh.

(This is what you’ve always wished for, and it’s happening in front of your eyes.
No…it’s happening to you, it’s happening, it’s really happening.)

She’s the girl you love, and you hope this lasts forever.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Remeber - Original



 The truth is I do remember, I remember everything...From her thin, pale lips, to her beautiful green eyes. I remember her pretty smile, her long, brown hair, falling down her back. Everyone thinks I don't, but I do. I wish I didn't, but I do.



She was my best friend, my love, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I loved her, I still do. I wanted to tell her how I felt, I had it all planned out. But, the day we were supposed to meet, the day I was supposed to tell her, she vanished. No one knows how or why. She just did. She disappeared, leaving nothing. Nothing but a small pendant, it was her favorite, she always used it. I always keep it close to me now. It gives me a small hope. If I have it, she has to come back to claim it. She never told me what was so special about that pendant. She just told me it was very important and that it meant a lot to her. I never dared to ask anything else, afraid she would get mad.



I shake my head, I shouldn't be dwelling in the past. I should move on. I should accept the fact that she's not going to come back, like everyone thinks I have. It all ended five years ago. She's been gone for five years. She is not coming back.



Tears stream down my face. I grab the pendant and, like many times before, try to smash it. Break it into little pieces and throw it away. But, like every time I've tried before, I can't. Just when I'm about to do it I see her face, like always. And then my resolve wavers and I can't do it. I can't. I just hold it tightly in my hands and cry. I miss her so much. I want to see her soon...



The doorbell rings, I stand up and wipe my face with my sleeve, no one can see me like this.



I go downstairs and open the door. Outside stands a police officer, I ask what's going on, he tells me that there has been an accident. I gasp, he tells me to accompany him. We walk. When we stop, we're standing in front of what looks like car crash...But I can't recognize anyone. I tell so to the officer, he looks puzzled, then tells me one of the victims had called for me, I look around, but I still can't see anyone I know. The officer signals me to follow him, which I do, not knowing what else to do. He takes me away from the forming crowd. He says the one that called for me was barely hurt, and that this person is where he is taking me. He stops, I stop. He tells me to walk forward a little more and leaves, saying he has things to do. I walk, looking for anyone I can recognize, but there's no one.



I turn around when I hear someone calling me. There, just a few meters away from me, stands a small boy with bandages wrapped around his thin arms. He doesn't look older than 13 has short, messy blond hair and big, blood red eyes. He's looking directly at me, a small smile on his pale lips. I look at him, he's not someone I know. He shakes his head as if saying "no" to answer my doubts and then walks over to me. All the while I stare, unmoving, as if in some sort of trance. He stops right in front of me and asks in a childlike yet incredibly cold voice "Where is the pendant?" At those words, I jump, puzzled. Did he mean that pendant? The boy nods his head, still smiling. "Tell me, where is the pendant?" I stand again, shocked, unmoving. How does he know about it? How does he know I have it? I shake my head, trying to deny knowing anything about it, but with my expression giving me away. He chuckles and says "You're a bad, bad liar" His smile then disappears and he looks straight at my eyes, coldly. He speaks again "Now...Give it to me" I shake my head. "No, there's no way I'm giving it to you" That's the only thing I have left of her, there was no way I was going to give it to anyone. Especially not a random creepy kid I had just met. He laughs and then talks again "Well then, you can keep it, but keep in mind you would be better off without it" I look at him, puzzled.  He just smiles, turns around and walks away.

---------------
First part of a little series I'm working on, hope it was to your liking.
This was written a long time ago, so I'm pretty sure it's not very good, it might have various silly mistakes.
Well, hope it was to your liking.